Old Women

The other day I got a message on Myspace from a thirty-eight year old man who found my page interesting. He found it so interesting that he suggested he might find me interesting romantically. I very nicely messaged him back to say I was flattered, but I considered him too young for me, a woman of 50.His response was one I've heard often "Age is just a number". I thought I'd share here what I had to say about that.

Age is not just a number or a state of mind. When a younger man says that he does so in an attempt to reassure me that he can overlook my normally unacceptable half century of life. Well I didn't say I was too old for you, I said you were too young for me.

To say age is just a number is to deny the wisdom and maturity I have gained through hard experience in the twelve years that separate your youth from my age. I don't want a younger man. A younger man who is looking for an older woman wants one of three things.

Sometimes they want a mother to take care of them. Well, I have four kids and six grandkids to take care of. I don't want another kid. I want a mature partner, a real grownup. Someone who's facing the same kind of challenges that I do. A guy with his own AARP card, who not only knows what an E ticket was but has used them.

Sometimes they don't think they can be attractive to a woman their own age but figure older women are more desparate and so willing to overlook defects. Sorry to disapoint you, but I am actually pickier at 50 than I was at 35. I really don't NEED a man in my life. I am content as I am. I get to do things my way in my time. A man could complicate my life. I am not actively looking for one, I'm just open to possibilities. If the RIGHT guy came along I'd consider a relationship. While looks don't matter like they used too, character matters more.

The third reason is that a man nearing forty is often hanging on to youth as hard as he can. 25 year old women might feed his ego, but they can also make him feel old. 50 year old women make him feel like a young stud, the boy toy again. I don't want to be a cougar. I don't have the time or the inclination to train puppies. I want an old dog who already knows all the tricks.

Needless to say he never messaged me again.

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I Am A Pack Leader

The photo I use for my icon is one of my three dogs so I truly have a pack. I have looked into many ways of training my dogs. I carried treats for rewards which only made my dogs focus on my pockets. I tried to learn the proper command words but I'm menopausal so I was prone to forgetting them in the process. It just seemed like a lot of extra work. I did not want to walk around my house with a misbehaving dog on a leash constantly as one friend suggested. Clicker training got on my nerves.

My dogs weren't too bad. They had no aggression issues. Two out of three walked well on the leash. I have two cats also and we did have the occasional cat chase. There was food begging, or in the case of my daughter, snatching, and trash dumping.

Then I saw the Dog Whisperer show. He demonstrates a natural approach to living with dogs as the pack leader. He confirmed for me that most of what I was doing was good. I consider my dogs to be canine family members, not little people in fur suits and I consider myself to be in charge. Watching Cesar Millan I learned more about the subtleties of dog psychology. He deciphered my dogs' behavior for me and the appropriate natural response. I now practice calm assertive energy with my dogs and have found that it's useful with people too!

My pack is balanced, I am the leader and all those irritating behavior problems disappeared. The biggest transformation was in my high energy Plott hound who I could not let in the house unless I was closely supervising her behavior. If you have a dog, I can't reccomend the Dog Whisperer highly enough!

A Great Mind Mapping Tool

This is the best website I have found for creative brainstorming. I am currently using it to plot my second book and plan on using it in the editing process for my first book, Drifter. It allows you to create bubbles that contain your own text and relate to other bubbles in a variety of ways.

It is free to use and you can store or share your creations. It is even possible to embed them on your own blog or website. I have found it an invaluble tool for the writer. Here is a map I used to bainstorm possible obstacles for a trip two of my characters are taking.

Post-Holiday Post

Well, I took a few weeks off for the holidays. I promise not to make a habit of it. It snowed in Vegas and I spent my time just goofing off. It was good to get a break. Of course I got my usual after the holiday cold/flu. It's a tradition.
Now I'm back to serious work and I thank you all for staying subscribed. I have found some interesting sites while I was playing that I will be sharing with you in the next few days. I will also be working on editing novel number one. My goal is to have it ready for publication by June. I will let you all know how things go. I am also writing novel number two, The Awesome Adventures of Umberto Umbrella. This one is for young adults and promises to be a lot of fun, not nearly as serious as Drifter, my first novel.
I'd love to hear from my readers. How are you all planning to take chances and expand your world this year? I plan on having a lot of good stories to tell when I hit the old folks home, what are your tall tales going to be about?